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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Subtle Morning

My mornings are filled with subtle sounds. Nothing too piercing than the happy beep of coffee ready.

Birds sit outside the kitchen window testing out their spring vocals.  Hesitant yet hopeful that warmth will come. This to the backdrop hum of the heating unit that is lulling everyone inside to stay in bed just a little longer. 

I find hope in their songs too, despite any forwarning the weather man may have made.  I'm choosing to embrace the soaring sound of creatures that will take to the sky at the first gust of heat in the air.

I stepped out on the deck,  barefoot and in defiance of the chill that clings to the still damp wood,  having never quite dried from the snow that only just melted away a week or so ago

The chickens run to the edge of their fence in hot pursuit of any special treat I might have ready for them. But I am only just standing at the wait for the sun to stretch it's reach past the clouds and high light the day. The song of that lone little bird is reaching higher too.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Sneezy and Grumpy Seeking Doc

One kid woke up sneezing,  coughing and crying with hay fever and the other still none too comfortable with her shoulder.  We can't seem to get everyone whole and healthy for any period of time.

Needless to say I'm home for the day with several of the seven dwarves rolled into two little girls.  Grumpy,  Sneezy...shame neither one is Doc.  At this rate we need a Doctor in the family.

So alas they have taken to the couch and their own separate electronics.  I won't complain though,  they don't feel well and without the distraction they are none too happy with each other. I will take peaceful children illuminated by the glow of Internet distraction.

Here's hoping that we'll soon be well. The weekend is close by so perhaps that will clear us up. Happy....Achoo! Thursday.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016


Despite my jokes of last night it wasn't in the cards for a truly peaceful evening. Parenthood offers up some interesting moments.

Poor Tori has hurt her shoulder somehow.  I took her to the Dr. and she has yet another appointment with an orthopedic Dr. later this week. We only know that the Dr. doesn't think she's cracked or broken anything but that something is definitely up and it's making her pretty uncomfortable.  Especially at night when she tries to lay down. 

She's been having a pretty rough go of it since last Thursday and tonight wasn't any better.  Ibuprofen,  heat, cold,  pillows,  elevation, laying flat, nothing seems to help and it's made her understandably grumpy and pretty vocal about it.  She gets stressed and it makes it even harder for her to relax and sleep.  Gabs feeds off of it and she is hard to get settled too.

Dennis took on calming Tori, he has always been her go to person, Daddy's girl all the way and he's a good Daddy.   I took on calming Gabby, who likewise has always been a Mommas girl.  Somewhere on the way Tori ended up taking over my blankets and pillow and my side of the bed. She finally fell asleep with Dennis knocked out beside her. Gabby also succumbed to sleep and frankly I'm wasn't about to try and do any shifting for fear of unsettling the calm they've all found.

That said I had the choice of two couches or Tori's twin bed. I went with a couch.

I suppose the whole night should have left me upset and stressed but oddly it didn't. Just tired.  Mostly because of the fact that as I lay down beside Gabby for awhile to get her to sleep everything seemed so peaceful as I listened to her chatter and Dennis talking Tori into calming down.
Gabby ' s conversation particularly had me forgetting about the stress of the night. 

"Momma,  how come we have to go to school and everywhere every day? ," she asked first.  "How long do we have to keep going everywhere?  Did it take you long to get through school?  Does everyone have to go to college?  Momma,  why can't we just stay home?," so many questions.  "Everyone needs to learn so they can become better and smarter people, " I answered,  "it makes the world a better place if everyone gets to learn about new things and can understand more about the world we live in. "

That wasn't the answer she wanted though.  "I know it's good to learn but wouldn't it be nice if we could stay home for a year?  All of us, everywhere,  maybe just the water people and electric people could make that stuff work from home on their computers.  That would be so nice if we all got to stay home," she said wistfully.

I did my best to explain that we all have to work or the world won't work.  "What would happen if the police and firemen didn't work?," I asked, "or what about doctors and nurses, people to run stores and farmers for food. " "Yeah, " she said,  "but it would still be nice. "

"What would it be like if everything was white and blank and we were just all here but we didn't really see or hear us, we'd just be here. Can you imagine that? And how did God make us all?  Did he have extra organs and he gave us some," she continued.

I did my best to answer,  to tell her I wasn't certain of all the answers and that I could imagine all that.  I could imagine but it was so funny to think that all of this was in her eight year old mind before bed.

"Momma do you have to go to college?  Did you always stay away from home?  Did you miss Nanna and Poppy?," on she went. I told her that not everyone goes,  some people do different things,  we talked about whether or not you need a degree to work at Arby's or Norbys and that it depends on your position and that managers sometimes do. "Managers do a lot don't they? ," she asked solemnly, "I don't think I want to do that. I don't think I want to be an adult.  How long do I have till I can't be little anymore?," she said so sadly and took my hand. "Oh a long while off, at least ten years till you're 18, that's when they say you're an adult.  I don't think you need to worry about it just yet.  You can stay here as long as you want," I couldn't help but smile at her deep worries and only hope I told her what she needed to know and hear.  She finally fell off to sleep after holding my hand for another fifteen minutes, changing blankets and making me promise to check on her and Tori before bed.

As I snuck out of the room and peeked in on Tori and Dennis her words kept going through my head.  "Wouldn't it be nice if we could all stay home for a year?" What does it mean that an eight year old recognizes that the world turns at a pretty fast pace and maybe we could all use a time for it to slow down. I don't know really,  but I can imagine.  Can you?

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Extracurricular Cleaning

The house is still clean from last week's bday preparations. The dishes are done and the clothes almost there. I've been perusing Pinterest and have come across numerous ways in which I can make my cookie sheets sparkle like new with just baking soda and peroxide. I pinned those ideas and gave serious contemplation to the fact that because the house is clean I have time to try some of these extracurricular cleaning activities. I thought about it thoroughly.

I also thought about the fact that it's rather depressing to think I am contemplating extracurricular cleaning. Am I crazy? I have freshly organized craft supplies, a stack of books neatly arranged in a basket near the bed, what the heck is wrong with me? Extracurricular cleaning!? Has it come to this? I'm still doing laundry and am doing maintenance cleaning but by golly a woman can't live by scrubbing bubbles alone!

"I'm still doing laundry and am doing maintenance cleaning but by golly a woman can't live by scrubbing bubbles alone!"

I will admit that I feel a strange quiet joy over the fact that I can see my countertops. I have inner peace over the fact that my coffee maker is clean, our favorite mugs are artfully placed next to it in anticipation of the morning to come. I have a breakfast vignette if you'll entertain the thought. 

All of this organization is a wonderful thing but isn't the point to give me a little extra free time? Cleaning shouldn't become your hobby. That said I am breaking free of the pins that bind me. I am saying no to seeking the cheap joy of an overly pristine cookie sheet, after all perhaps that's the seasoning that gives my cookies that little something special. Yup I am not going to clean. 

I think I'm going to bed early instead....thinking about all this cleaning is wearing me out!

Monday, February 1, 2016

Sticking To It

The weekend was tiresome.  Fun but tiresome.  Gabs birthday was preceded by a lot of cleaning up the house and we even got our driveway re-gravelled, which is great but we had a little spreading and filling in of some holes to do so it ended up being a little more work.  Needless to say I was once again reminded that I am out of shape.

It's nice going into the new week with the house cleaned up and somewhat organized. Now if I can just stick to it.  We're jumping back in with Dennis having a night meeting tonight but for once I think that's the only one this week.  I hope we can stay on a bit of a routine.  Have dinner together at the table, keep the dishes done,  clothes hung up, finish homework and projects. At some point we have to build a family made miniature rolling float featuring the Boston Tea Party,  Paul Revere or something during the same historical time period.  That and a storybook character themed valentine box.

In addition to that we still have work stuff,  bee keeping presentations,  fast approaching conferences,  yearly audits, employee reviews to conduct,  budgets to plan,  community meetings to coordinate.  Classes start back soon too. I hope going into what is already the second month of the new year with a bit more order in the house will keep order in my head. Funny how order outside helps me keep order inside.  I'm sure some psychologist somewhere would have a field day with that statement.  Oh well,  I suppose admitting my control issues I'd the first step to....well I have no desire to fix that one,  I mean I don't want to give up the clean house thing,  I feel powerful,  I feel infinite....well maybe I should look at this a bit.  Balance is good.  Anyhow too much thinking for a Monday and not even a whole cup of coffee yet. Time to get going.  Happy February.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Monday - The Saga Continues

Ugh. Coffee.  Good.
Me sit.
Me drink coffee.
Me speak in one syllable (well except that one) words.

It's Monday and time to climb out of my snow cave. In all truth it's not that bad. I'm sleepy but I actually feel decent.  Kinda rejuvenated. I needed this break I think to get my head back on straight.

Of course I blew any semblance of a diet. Didn't really do anything productive but I don't feel a bit guilty and feel recharged in a lot of ways despite some backsliding.  Snow days can be helpful in that way I think.  All that glowingly blinding snow can help illuminate the path you need to be taking.

So it's Monday and I will survive. 
I may drag my feet a bit because I'm still shaking off the lazies but I'll be all right.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Snow Day Cave

Train of thought.  Writing without form. I've been way from writing for several days now and I fear I'm getting rusty. So I'm typing whatever this morning until I can work the kinks out.

I'm a bit fuzzy,  almost furry brained, from the medicine I took for my sinus headache earlier. The pressure coming through from the storm had my head in a vice. I was in bed early last night then awake again at 2 something till almost four then again at 6 and 7. Needless to say not much sleep.

Gabs let me sleep in until 8:45 then she needed me to watch Shadow Hunters with her, a show about teenagers hunting down evil and fighting for good in the world.  It's based on a book series,  filmed a little like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, right up my ally lol! I'm being serious.

Gabs inherited my love of stories and shows about magical creatures, vampires and witches and the lot. She loves them but can't/won't watch them alone.  So awake I must. We're on episode two and discussing the fact that there's a movie version of this and debating on whether or not we should hunt it down on Netflix so we can watch and compare.

Dennis and Tori are still snoozing,  the snow has set in heavy now.  I may end up back in bed myself if this medicine has anything to say about it.  I don't know if Gabby will let me though.  I brought home two Lord of the Rings movies and she's not seen them.  I have a feeling if I get any more sleep it will be right here on this couch. I suppose there are worse ways to spend a day.

We're safe and warm at home.  Full fridge,  movies to watch,  no ice yet (knock on wood, I think I ought to go with it and get settled in for the weekend. I hope that everyone is doing as well and keep doing as well as the storm blows on.

My headache has waned and I think I'm going to embrace the fact that I'm a bit empty headed. I shall fill up on pointless television and just watching the snow fall outside my window.  There's plenty of time another day to worry about the world's problems and even my own.  Today I shall hibernate in my snow day cave.