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Monday, July 25, 2016

Small Victories


Sunday went fast and I'm left still tired from the weekend.  The new week is going to be a crazy one. Summer reading is wrapping up at work with our big end of Summer movie.  Lots of reports to do and submit.  Lots of juggling of the schedule because of overtime rules and trying to make sure we're covered. The girls go back to school next week and we still need to get school supplies.  Tori needs to practice opening her locker at some point.  Middle school....eek! Gabs will be in 3rd, Tori 6th and I will be forty.  Life is still just as hectic as ever, haven't seemed to magically break the code that whole work/home life balance thing I'm searching for.  Didn't lose fifty pounds yet, still have bills and stress. I don't pretend to think that a number of age will make any difference in all that. I do have a little more sense,  maybe a little more maturity and confidence.  I know that I have a lot to be thankful for despite all my worries.  I have a lot of wonderful people around me that I love and who love me. I may not be have it all figured out but I think that means the world.

On a side note,  in relation to control over things, a word about the picture.  I took a little petty control yesterday.  The Japanese Beetles were attacking the blackberries.  I decided that while they may have ruined the fruit they weren't going to get the satisfaction of having it all! So I picked what was there and gave them to the feathered girls.  Small victory but I felt vindicated lol!
#lifelessons
#gettingthere
#slowdown
#Ihatejapanesebeetles
#covertchickenfarm

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Betrayal Or Blessing?

Often I begrudge my incessant need to wake early.  I'm never sure how or why my body betrays me to force my eyes open or my back to ache in my position, just enough,  to make me pull the covers back and stretch forth into the morning.

But sometimes, I remember and I understand.  I crave this quiet, peaceful time. I need these moments of early morning, mottled light that filters soft through the steam covered windows. 

All is quiet and it's too early for my worries to wake. Perhaps my body doesn't betray me at all.  Perhaps, instead,  it helps me seek the solace needed to re center me. 

These fleeting moments of solitude often help me remember and appreciate all that I have and sometimes forget in the chaos of daily life and self doubt. My sleepy brain is perhaps more sure of itself than at any other time.

Good morning all. May you find a few moments to feel blessed yourself today.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

I Want To Call Recess

So for once I slept!  But for some reason when I can actually sleep through a night I can't seem to sleep past 7:20. Mind you I have been known to go back to bed after that and I can't swear that I won't, at least for a few minutes,  but for now at least I'm up and contemplating coffee.  Yes I know,  what's to contemplate?  All the same I just don't feel like making the effort this morning.  So I'm drinking diet soda instead right now.

Today's agenda includes cleaning, in some form or fashion, deciding how long I can put off getting school supplies before Tori and Gabs make a final attack and plea for a need to shop and possibly baking something.  Come to think of it that pretty much sounds like my past few weekends.

If I could throw caution and responsibility to the wind I think I might do absolutely nothing today but maybe read or watch mindless TV and movies. I also want to go on a date with my husband. 

We're at the stage of summer when the girls are bored with being home,  bored with us, bored we each other and also swinging back and forth between wanting to kill each other and reminding us that they are not children.  They have taken to telling us that they know best and we should just succeed and turn the house and bank account over to them,  minus cleaning duties and work for said bank funds of course. I know I'd be missing them after a few hours away and be feeling guilty if I knew whatever we were doing might be something they'd enjoy but I might be able to handle it for at least those few hours lol!

Yup I'm having one of those days where as bad as it sounds I want to remember I'm still Amy. You know what I mean?  Parenthood, adulthood and all those real world duties you know you can't shirk are hanging a little heavy over my head today and I want the ability to call time out for a bit. "Recess!," I'd yell if I could. 

But alas life doesn't work that way.  We are Mommas and Daddy's and such and even when little tween girls start exerting their independence we're still their Mommas and Daddy's. I can't promise I might not stick my tongue out at them a few times today though and say nanna,  nanna,  boo, boo. Just a couple times!

Friday, July 22, 2016

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

The corn and maters are ready!  I repeat the corn and maters are ready! Which is sort of like a food Christmas around here.

We'll have fresh corn and tomatoes at almost every meal while they last, until we're burnt out and then won't won't them again for several months, until the dead of winter when we will settle for tomato juice in our chili and frozen corn off the cob. Both still good of course but in February it just won't feel the same.

Needless to say you can guess what our weekend plans are. We broke down and got the freezer which came yesterday, just the same time as the corn. Dennis also got one of those food saver gadgets to seal everything in. Shame I can't hermetically seal all the furniture and stuff so I could just hose everything down and run a leaf blower over them.

Also needless to say the house is still a wreck and not likely to get better any time soon.  I keep sorting through closets and gradually making a dent by donating some of it and tossing the other.  Feels a lot like I'm just shifting piles though.  Oh well,  at least I have corn and maters to appease my frustrations!

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Tipping My Hand

I'm not a card player. I've never played poker and in fact UNO is about the closest I get to it on occasion.  I'm a board game girl. Scrabble,  Candy Land, Monopoly,  none of which requires any need to bluff. I guess I'm just a little too straight forward.

This week I think must be proof as to why I should never gamble. I simply lay my cards on the table too soon. I tip my hand.

I started this week out by talking about how I planned to change my habits up and get into the routine of being happy about the need to rise early. I flaunted my winning hand, I tempted fate. Yup I brought it on myself I reckon.  Because it seems that no sooner than my plans were uttered than all my chips were swiped off the table.

I need sleep.  I'm sorry all you self help gurus and authors who say it's a choice to be in a good mood.  I agree, to an extent,  but by golly you are no match for the battle of insomnia and an eight year old girl who was a born strategist!

When sleep has evaded you most of the week, between an overworking brain and a child who seems to know just when to wake you during your REM cycle so that you are too tired to protest her rooting you out of bed and you merely shuffle defeated to the couch to claim your uncomfortable few hours left of sleep, you too would find it hard to stay positive.

I'm pretty much feeling like a grump. I did so good though...for that whole day. Chipper, positive, swatting away the negative Nellie ' s (I still wonder if that came from Nellie Olsen on Little House?). Yeah,  I'm just no good at this game of strategy.

Sigh...okay I need to buck it up right? Today is a new day,  the dawning of a new era. There's always more toast!  I need to throw a new piece of bread in the toaster or at least try to salvage one of the others by gettin' to scraping...toast...no I need coffee! Coffee! Yeah that's it! Coffee's the answer,  or could I maybe just crawl back in bed? Pretty please? Probably not huh? Yeah my spots still taken.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Buzz Kill Morning

Alas my newfound mission to greet the #earlymorning with an #earlytoshine attitude has been thwarted by a bad case of insomnia and one non - sleeping eight year old. Up but not shining today and with a pretty bad crick in my neck (got rooted out of bed by the non sleeper) and allergy induced headache.  Time to make the doughnuts!  #buzzbuzzbuzz #thesunwillcomeouttomorrow
#powerofpositivethinking ....right?
#covertchickenfarm

Monday, July 18, 2016

Self Help, Chiggers and Song Worms

I'm up. I'm also on this new mission to be happy about getting up earlier,  to look forward to a kick start to the day instead of dreading and thinking  I "have" to get up early. Another self help book inspiration I suppose but my thought is:

"Think happybe happy and be healthy."

Mind over matter you know?  I am in a good mood,  that much is working.  I'm excited,  right now more about the call of the coffee makers beep! But hey it's a start!

Dogs, like our Zeus in the attached picture,  always seem pretty content.  They don't even have opposable thumbs and they're bound to have chiggers!  Wonder what their secret is? Probably morning yoga and not reading the political news.

I'm actually trying to get over my own itchy shins, chiggers!  Ugh! I do have thumbs but they're harshing my vibe man! That and I have a random song stuck in my head that's slightly bugging me. I'm not going to let that get me down though.  I can smell the coffee and I made banana bread muffins last night. I have awhile before I need to wake anyone. 

"The morning is mine, the day is new, itchy or not here I come!"