I Worry

I worry. I worry constantly.
I worry about my children and husband.  I worry about my coworkers.  I worry I don't do enough.  I worry I do too much.  I worry about the government,  the poor,  the hungry,  the elderly,  the abused and neglected.  I worry. I worry constantly.

I have done this since childhood.  I remember being five and my brother was in the hospital with spinal meningitis and I worried that I needed to take him a gift or he wouldn't get better.  In third grade I went on a field trip and spent most of it distraught over the fact that I had five dollars and I needed to bring everyone in my family a souvenir back but wasn't sure how I would manage it.

When I was in college and taking psychology classes I was certain I had myself (and most of my relatives) diagnosed.  I had generalized anxiety disorder,  meaning I worry.  I worry constantly.  I even worry about worrying.

Today I don't think I have that so much anymore.  I do think I'm a lot like a lot of other people I know.  I'm overly perceptive of others. I also have a somewhat obsessive personality and a one track mind.

I'm trying to do better.  I try to realize that the world and all the problems of those around me can't be solved in a day. I'm trying to make myself realize that you can only do what you can do and take it day by day.  I'm on a mission to get my life organized which I hope will help me clear the clutter in my head.

I will always worry though. My job is to learn how to not let it consume all the wonderful things I don't need to worry about.  I should be thankful.